Likes: Ann Coulter, songs about America and people just like me

Though I should probably reconsider --- as I sit here, alone --- I've steadfastly avoided computer dating sites. Why the hell would I want someone as desperate as me?

I've already anointed Dr. Neil Clark Warren (the grinning graybeard on those eHarmony.com ads) as one of the scariest people alive. But the most frightening online mating service has got to be Hannidate, "the place where people of like conservative minds can come together to meet." That's Hannidate as in Sean Hannity. From W.'s mouthpiece to matchmaker.

Imagine that first date conversation: "Did you hear what Sean said today? He is so wise and brilliant." "I know. I don't think he's ever been wrong." "Don't you love that new Lee Greenwood song?" "I wish they'd bring back 'Highway to Heaven.'"