Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Crayons are a boy's best friend

After reading about the first grader suspended from school for sexually harassing a female classmate, I'm thankful my public school days are over. I would've most certainly faced expulsion for my prepubescent exploits.

First, a little background. I got plenty of mileage out of my Crayolas as a child; I would mash up the gold, silver and bronze crayons into a fine dust, then pass it out to the girls I liked. The ones who really caught my eye received the gold dust, and so on. (Boys had not yet entered the equation).

That's all innocent enough, but it was what I did with the red and blue crayons that would've brought me trouble. I had a couple of female neighbors my age (we're talking five, six years old), and we used to play doctor together. I, of course, was the doctor. Doctors give shots, and take temperatures, and when you're that young, the thermometers are administered ... well, you remember that cold jolt in the rear.

Even then I had a thing for accuracy. A red crayon meant a fever; blue meant they were okay (and no, I did not recycle those crayons).

My guess is such actions would have me placed in juvenile hall today. Hopefully the statute of limitations has run out.

The first grader mentioned above was suspended for three days for the "offense" of playfully putting two fingers inside a girl's waistband, touching her back.

A school official said the district takes sexual harassment "very seriously." Glad to see the public education system takes something seriously. Too bad it's not academics.

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