Thursday, April 06, 2006

Maybe next year they'll fund a summit on wiping

I know this is going to sound like a lead-in of your local news telecast, but I can't resist:

"You've heard the expression about flushing money down the toilet. Well, Congress is doing just that, literally, approrpriating $13.5 million to fund the World Toilet Summit."

God, I feel like John Stossel. But I'm totally seriously, to quote Cartman. There really is a World Toilet Summit, hosted by the Russian Toilet Association and the Moscow City Council. Can't wait for the forum on low-flows.

There's also a World Toilet Organization. From their web site:


Urgent! is a game, in 3D format, which aims to educate toilet users on proper toilet hygiene and toilet etiquettes. The toilets must be kept clean, and all germs should be disinfected before it comes in contact with patrons of the toilet such as elderly and pregnant women.

You have to maintain a good level of sanitation to advance to different levels. There are 3 stages, with 3 rounds in each stage.

Imagine the possibilities of your personal toilet layout. You design the way it looks, ensuring customers enjoy the ambience setting you provide for them. Imagine strategically positioning toilets and utilities in the toilet to be used by customers even if they are normal users, elderly or handicapped. Unlike reality, it does not take much to amend a mistake, just sell anything you don’t like off, and start to build again! Learn from your mistakes and reap the profits! (Play the game here here).

Of course, funding the toilet summit is but a drop in the urinal. According to Citizens Against Government Waste, Congress porked out at record levels in 2006, with earmarks totaling $29 billion, or 6.2 percent more than last year’s total. Said wasteful spending has increased by 29 percent since fiscal 2003.

Total pork identified by CAGW since 1991: $241 billion.

Why, you could fund a war with that money. Isn't it about time we got very, very angry?

No comments:

Post a Comment