So my time at USC Film School wasn't well-spent, obviously. But I might have finally found a story that will sell (unlike my script about the kidnapping of a motivational speaker), compliments of a colleague of mine at the AJC. From the "you can't make this shit up" file, meet the Southern-fried version of Jerry Lundegaard, the hapless car salesman from "Fargo":
Robert Franklin Holcombe was really good at spending money, but really bad at trying to kill his wife.
First, he broke a natural gas line to the water heater, hoping it would cause an explosion. Then, he tried pumping the house full of carbon monoxide by leaving a running car in the garage. After that, he tried poison --- twice.
When none of that worked, Holcombe turned to an accomplice, asking the couple's son to help bump off his mother. The son agreed to help police by wearing a wire, and Holcombe was arrested.
And it gets better from there.