Inspired by Night Planet landlord Stanley Roper, the Malcontent offers its own list of jobs that suck (a couple of which are based on personal experience):
We agree on:
*Telemarketer (no description needed)
*Crystal meth dealer (bad hours)
*Math teacher (like herding cats, plus we hate math)
*Car salesman (no description needed)
*Pyramid schemer (or "Octagons of Opportunity," as Malcontenter Bobby Bubbles calls them)
*Assistant to any Hollywood star (wiping away Halle Berry's tears, no thanks!)
*School guidance counselor (major in whatever the fuck you want in college, it's annoying to hear about)
*Anything at a Junior High/High School (After 11 years old is the "age of the turkey" as the Spanish say)
*Concessionaire (endless stairs, beer bellies, sore throats from yelling "Beah heah")
*Soup factory worker (all that clam chowder stirring, screw that!)
*Massage therapist (intimate touching with anyone who pays, sounds familiar)
***Most of the above comments are compliments of Stanley. He left little room for improvement.
To his list, I'd add:
*Tax attorney (taxes + lawyers = suicide)
*Accountant (numbers, numbers everywhere ... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!)
*Sanitation worker (natch)
*Nanny (dealing with brats, changing diapers, no corporal punishment!)
*Proctologist (natch; can't even stand porn close-ups)
*Publicist (everything is great!)
*Activist (trafficking in cliche)
*Diversity coordinator (trafficking in cliche)
*Motivational speaker (my thesis script at USC was about the kidnapping of a self-help guru, so you know where I stand)
*Awards show writer (you, too, could be the next Bruce Vilanch)
*Local government reporter (been there, still scarred by those eight hour-long Clarke County Commission meetings)
*Disney temp (two of the longest weeks of my life)
and
*Mascot (walking around in a Pluto costume all day, entertaining children, taking picures with fat tourists ... welcome to Hell!)
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