This is what we call a slow news day

The Drudge Report is usually a reliable starting point for the Malcontent's musings, but what in the hell am I supposed to say about some of today's top headlines?:

Gingrich Says Hillary Beatable... (making him about the four millionth person to surmise that)

REPORT: British skies UFO-free for last 30 years... (but what about the Irish skies?)

ELTON JOHN TAKES STAGE IN TUTU... (Elton John, in women's garb?!?)

ANISTON TIRED OF TV... (If only she had felt this way during the first season of "Friends")

Laura Bush doesn't believe bad polls... (Everyone seemed to like him at the GOP fundraiser I attended last night)

Prince Harry Cleans Up... (For an official ceremony, no less. A prince, in a suit? Wow!)

So, in light of this desperation, I present:

Wife -- of 17 years -- 'didn't realize husband was a woman'...