When's Ken coming out?

Considering her wide range of enemies, I'm beginning to sympathize with Barbie, America's second-oldest beard (behind Liza Minnelli). In years past, feminists have attacked her as a poor role model for young girls, a blond bimbo dependent on her looks and her vacuous beau, Ken.

Now, the religious right is going after the California girl, who, in true Patty Hearst fashion, has apparently undergone a brainwashing, compliments of the transgendered movement.

(Overly) Concerned (Church) Women for (a return to 1800) America says Barbie is promoting gender confusion in children ages four to eight. Best I let CWA speak for itself:

"The iconic Barbie Doll has become another tool for promoting gender confusion among children. On the Barbie Web site, www.Barbie.com, there is a poll that asks children their age and sex. The age choices are 4-8, but as Bob Knight, Director of CWA’s Culture & Family Institute, notes children are given three options for their choice of gender."

I'm surprised CWA is okay that more than one option was given; after all, what's a little boy doing with a Barbie doll? That third option was: "I Don't Know."

"This was just an innocent oversight," says Lauren Bruksch, a spokeswoman for Mattel. As a rule of thumb, Bruksch said, the questionnaires at barbie.com always try to have a neutral answer or nonresponse option. For gender, this third option should have been "I don't want to say," rather than "I don't know." The Web site has since been fixed.

But CWA isn't convinced. Knight says Barbie manufacturer Mattel was being influenced by the "transgender movement."

To pose "this transgender question at little girls, they've really crossed the line," Knight says, adding that "bisexuality gender confusion" is the Web site's agenda, which is "very dangerous."

And to think, they've never targeted Snagglepuss.