In a huge blow to the abstinence movement (Christians sure are lax in selecting their role models), alleged actress and songstress Jessica Simpson has left her pop tart husband for dear old Dad. If history has taught us anything, it's this: don't underestimate the bedroom eyes of a Baptist preacher. No word on how Jessica's even less talented sister is taking the snub.
You may commence with the Southern inbred stereotyping.
Pictured: Jimmy Swaggart, who started the popular trend of wayward evangelicals back in the late 1980s.
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