Saturday, October 08, 2005
Ma! Ma!! MAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
So the other night I tuned into one of those sloppily assembled "best of" shows that have become so pervasive on E!, VH-1 and all those other cable channels with no apparent reason for existence ... except to provide fuel for my righteous indignation.
They typically feature stand-up comics or actors you've never heard of (with good reason) along with entertainment magazine reporters (showbiz suck-ups not physically attractive enough to qualify for anything beyond celebrity sycophant) chosen because: a.) They have nothing better to do and b.) they'll enthusiastically spew whatever party line is being promoted.
Surprising at it may be, Cher topped the list of those who selected "The 20 Best Things About Being Queer." Didn't see that one coming, did ya? Sonny's ex bested show tunes, parades (parades?!?) and the usual assortment of other has-been divas on this "best of" compilation.
Can queers be any any less "queer?" (Unconventional, for those unfamiliar with the term's origin).
While cementing stereotype, we've refuted one of the few I didn't mind: that is, homosexuals have good taste.
Cher and "Starlight Express"?!? No wonder coming out of the closet was so difficult. It wasn't so much the ostracization I feared; rather, I didn't want to be embraced by the likes of Harvey Fierstein. Musicals, along with melodrama, bore the hell out of me. (Parades?!?) That, of course, qualifies me as self-loathing in the minds of the fraternity, a convenient scarlet letter handed out by the group thinkers.
So be it. Maybe I'm not so proud to be gay (the randomness of nature required no effort on my end), but I'm a damn proud malcontent!