Tuesday, October 11, 2005

That'll make your bull run!

There's no doubt in my mind: the best 30 minutes of TV, ever, is "The Simpsons" episode featuring John Waters.

I remember watching it when it debuted on my 27th birthday (an otherwise unforgettable night due to a generous helping of mushrooms), and it's maintained a special place in my brain since. Some sample quotes:

Marge, to Homer: "He prefers the company of men." Homer: "Who doesn't?"

Homer: "You know me, Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaaaa-ming!"

Homer: "There's only two kind of guys who wear those type of shirts (Hawaiian prints): big fat party animals and homosexuals."

John Waters: "Helen Lovejoy. She looks blond, but cuffs and collars don't match, if you know what I mean."

Homer: "They (homosexuals) ruined all our best names. Like Bruce and Lance and Julian."

Homer, to Bart, as he attempts to give his son the "Exodus" treatment: "Don't worry, son. By tomorrow, I'll turn you into a regular Burt Reynolds."

John Waters: "Well Homer, I won your respect, and all I had to do was save your life. If only every gay man could do the same."

Thank you, Matt Groening.

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