Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Fair weather fans

I'm not sure you could find two more loathsome political operatives than former Republican hatchet man turned left-wing apologist David Brock (author of "The Seduction of Hillary Rodham" and "The Republican Noise Machine: Right-Wing Media and How It Corrupts Democracy") and former Democratic hatchet man turned right-wing apologist Dick Morris.

Neither has fully explained their Damascus conversion, yet both mantain an exalted state within their respective (newly chosen) movements. Hey, as long as you're spewing vitriol, it doesn't matter whose water you carry.

You might remember Morris from the infamous toe sucking scandal during the 1996 election. Check out the photos of Condi and Hillary he chose for the cover of his latest tome --

Methinks someone still has some female issues.

The bigotry of double standards

Britain's teacher's union has approved an academic boycott on Israeli higher education institutions that do not condemn that country's "apartheid policy." Meanwhile, the Ontario division of the Canadian Union of Public Employees, the largest labor union in Canada, voted in favor of a boycott of Israel because of its treatment of Palestinians.

Blogger and columnist Cathy Young dissects the ideological hypocrisy:

Are these boycotts anti-Semitic? Maybe not, but, as I noted the other day, they are hypocritical, sanctimonious, and deeply wrong. No one is demanding a boycott of Russian academics over Russia's occupation of Chechnya and the atrocities committed there (which dwarf, to put it mildly, Israel's human rights abuses in the occupied territories). Or, as Ari Paul points out in an article at Reason.com, a boycott of Chinese academics because of the occupation of Tibet and other assorted abuses by the Chinese regime. Or ... sadly, the list could go on and on.


Partly, this double standard is rooted in the all-too-familiar leftist mentality which strenuously condemns bad behavior by Western or pro-Western governments while turning a blind eye to the far worse misdeeds of communist and/or Third World regimes. (It's not quite clear into which category Putin's Russia falls.)

Looking for freedom

"Half of the time I don't know if people are making fun of me or think I'm cool."

--David Hassehoff

Here's a simple rule: Unless the accent is German, they're making fun.

Thank You for Smoking


While I need to exercise, I don't want to become one of those people. Like the female jogger who passed by as I walked Nurse Hall's dog this morning. I was smoking, natch, which caused the joggerette to cringe noteiceably as she approached. As we met on the sidewalk she gave my that condescending "I'm healthy and you're not" look (I've seen it before). Meanwhile, she acted as if the smoke was Kryptonite.

Hey, I tried to blow it the other way.

Quote of the day


"The level of activity that we see today from a military standpoint, I think, will clearly decline. I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency."

--Dick Cheney, recycled from May 30, 2005

Monday, May 29, 2006

Brangelinabia

Sounds like Namibia has been overtaken by a two-headed monster --

The Republic of Namibia - the impoverished country of 1.8 million known for its wild remoteness - not only welcomed the movie stars, it handed over control of its international land borders and airspace to them.

As the world awaited the birth of the child at a luxury villa complex on the coast, Namibian authorities said they had bowed to pressure from Jolie and Pitt and granted them the right to ban foreign journalists from entering the country - a remarkable move for the Government of any sovereign state.

The stars told ministers they would quit the country unless allegedly intrusive journalists and paparazzi were brought to heel.

No fat babies!

And God forbid they be unattractive, or slightly abnormal, physically or otherwise.

Sadly, an increasing number of parents are choosing beauty before death:

The ethical storm over abortions has been renewed as it emerged that terminations are being carried out for minor, treatable birth defects.

Late terminations have been performed in recent years because the babies had club feet, official figures show.

Babies are being aborted with only minor defects.Other babies were destroyed because they had webbed fingers or extra digits. Such defects can often be corrected with a simple operation or physiotherapy.

The revelation sparked fears that abortion is increasingly being used to satisfy couples' desire for the 'perfect' baby.

A leading doctor said people were right to be 'totally shocked' that abortions were being carried out for such conditions.

I try to stay out of the abortion debate, but this is unconscionable. Here lies the consquences of a culture that magnifies the superficial above all else.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

My name is ATL malcontent, and I'm a mentally ill heterosexual

That's what many in the Christian right would conclude:

The ex-gay movement considers same-sex attraction to be a gender-identity disorder, brought on by inadequate parenting, unmet emotional needs and, often, childhood sexual abuse.

Mainstream associations of psychiatrists and psychologists resoundingly reject that model, but the ex-gay movement promotes it through groups such as the National Assn. for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality. That group's president, psychologist Joseph Nicolosi, opened a recent conference for men and women seeking to overcome homosexuality with a ringing statement:

"There is no such thing as a homosexual. We are all heterosexual. Our body was designed for the opposite sex."

I'll overlook the obvious slap in the face and note another victim of these rhetorical grenades -- the parents of gay kids. They're being told, with no subtlety, that they failed miserably as mothers and fathers. What else would explain a homosexual scion? Dealing with a queer son or daughter is difficult enough -- hopefully, one day, it won't be -- and parents don't deserve the blame.

No one does. Homosexuality just is. Like being blond, or redheaded, tall or short. Is it that hard to understand?

I had good parents. Most of my emotional needs were met. And I was never inappropriately touched.

So what explains me?

The audience of more than 700 sat rapt in the pews of a Fort Lauderdale church. Some held Bibles. Others took notes. Nicolosi went on to tell them that fathers could help their sons stay straight by bonding through rough-and-tumble games, such as tossing them in the air.

"Even if [the dad] drops the kid and he cracks his head, at least he'll be heterosexual," Nicolosi said, chuckling. "A small price to pay."


Sorry to screw with your theories, Dr. Nick, but I played sports. Liked 'em. Still do. I even recall wrestling with my dad a time or two.

You're running out of rationales.

Better said, you're a bigot, er, hatemonger. Your side doesn't mince words, so why should I? Frankly, I'm tired of dealing with small-minded paranoia.

See you at the next Queer Nation rally.

Overheated quote of the day


"I think of Hillary as a lioness protecting children."

--Linda Fairstein, a former New York City prosecutor, quoted in a new campaign video for Clintoness. Excuse me while I throw up.

Democracy in Russia (cont'd)

It hangs by a thread, especially if you're gay.

Riot police broke up an attempt by gays and lesbians to stage Moscow's first gay pride parade Saturday. Gay activists who attempted to lay flowers near the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier outside the Kremlin wall and then assemble across from city hall were heckled and assaulted by skinheads, Orthodox Christians and radical nationalists.

Police said they had arrested about 120 people, both supporters and opponents of the parade. Gay activists were dragged away by riot police when they began speaking to reporters, but opponents of the parade, including a nationalist member of parliament, were allowed to speak and chant, "Moscow is not Sodom." ...

The city had banned the parade on the grounds that it was anathema to the values of most residents and therefore presented a threat of violence. A city court upheld the ban Friday.

Mayor Yuri Luzhkov said in a radio interview Friday that a gay parade "may be acceptable for some kind of progressive, in some sense, countries in the West, but it is absolutely unacceptable for Moscow, for Russia."

He added: "As long as I am mayor, we will not permit these parades to be conducted."

Have you thanked a veteran today?


If not, then do so. It might seem trite, thanking a stranger, but they'll appreciate it. It's the least we can do.

Coming soon from a demagogue representing you

Those big government Republicans are at it again. Now I'm sure the latest anti-flag-burning amendment has nothing to do with an upcoming election, or sponsor Bill Frist's presidential aspirations. No, it's more about stamping out the national epidemic of flag desecration. Everywhere you turn, someone is lighting a match to Old Glory.

Are voters so easily fooled? Certainly they can see through the cynical motives of Frist and the other Republicans. Of all the issues that need addressing, flag burning tops the list? It's an insult to us all, and that includes our soldiers overseas. Wouldn't the Senate's time be better spent on legislation that would facilitate a pay raise for our fighting men and women, or give them the kind of health benefits afforded members of Congress?

No one wants to see the red, white and blue burned, but I guarantee, if this law is passed, you'll see a rise in flag desecration.

One footnote -- an anti-flag burning amendment was approved by the House last year. The bill's sponsor: Randy "Duke" Cunningham, now serving an eight-year prison sentence for accepting $2.4 million in bribes.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Too late

This is why candidates lose elections. Beyond the manufactured polish, spin doctors and focus groups, most voters still respond to authenticity. Sometimes, we even like seeing our politicians pissed off, particularly if their anger is righteous.

If John Kerry had fought back against the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth during the campaign, he might've won. Because he didn't, voters in the middle decided maybe there was some truth in their accusations. Now Kerry is finally fighting back. My question: what took so long? --

Another photograph provides evidence for Mr. Kerry's version of how he won the Bronze Star. And original reports pulled from the naval archives contradict the charge that he drafted his own accounts of various incidents — which left room, the Swift boat group had argued, to embellish them.

Mr. Kerry's defenders have received help from unlikely sources, including some who were originally aligned with the Swift boat group but later objected to its accusations against Mr. Kerry. One of them, Steve Hayes, was an early member of the group. A former sailor, he was a longtime friend and employee of William Franke, one of the group's founders, and he supported the push to have Mr. Kerry release his military files. But Mr. Hayes came to believe that the group was twisting Mr. Kerry's record.

"The mantra was just 'We want to set the record straight,' " Mr. Hayes said this month. "It became clear to me that it was morphing from an organization to set the record straight into a highly political vendetta. They knew it was not the truth." ...

Mr. Kerry, accused even by Democrats of failing to respond to the charges during the campaign, is now fighting back hard.

"They lied and lied and lied about everything," Mr. Kerry says in an interview in his Senate office. "How many lies do you get to tell before someone calls you a liar? How many times can you be exposed in America today?"

I don't know the truth, but I always suspected the Swift Boaters' motives. But their charges stuck because Kerry reacted to them like just another robotic liberal from Massachusetts (see: "If Kitty Dukakis were raped and murdered ...").

Playing it safe is a recipe for electoral disappointment. You'd think Kerry would've learned to play rough as a "Skull and Bones" alumnus (one lesson George W. actually absorbed).

Bad sign: this is a likely precursor to another Kerry run in 2008. Kerry, Clinton, Gore ... time to MoveOn.

Geeks go to movies

In droves. Then again, what else are they going to do (he says, home alone on a Saturday night)?

"X Men 3: The Last Stand" took in almost $45 million on Friday and landed in the history books. It is now the second highest opener of all time, right behind "Star Wars: Attack of the Sith."

Insiders are predicting that the Brett Ratner directed third episode in the X Men trilogy could do as much as $150 million over the four day Memorial Day weekend. Word of mouth and "tracking" are so strong that "X Men 3," with no real rivals, should shatter all kinds of records by time the numbers are in officially on Tuesday.


I told you so (pardon the arrogance):

Without warning, a confederacy of geeks has taken over the popular culture.

"The Matrix." "X-Men." The latest chapter in the trolls and elves trilogy. This is cinema for the "Dungeons and Dragons" set. Who put the Society for Creative Anachronism (that group you may recall from college, jousting on the lawn in medieval garb shouting "zounds" at each other as they drank from faux goblets) in charge of programming?

Once we mocked nerds. It was tradition. Now we (filmgoers, the flock mentality media) follow their lead.

And the dance continues. I'm just a little too old to be interested in a flick with characters named Magento, Cyclops, Storm and Mystique. That is, I've completed puberty.

Viagra reconsidered

What hath Bob Dole wrought?

Doctors said sexually transmitted diseases among senior citizens are running rampant at a popular Central Florida retirement community, according to a Local 6 News report.

A gynecologist at The Villages community near Orlando, Fla., said she treats more cases of herpes and the human papilloma virus in the retirement community than she did in the city of Miami.

"Yeah, they are very shocked (to hear the diagnosis)," gynecologist Dr. Colleen McQuade said. "I had a patient in her 80s."

"More and more senior citizens are ending up in the gynecologist office, and their diagnosis is a sexually transmitted disease," Local 6 reporter Vanessa Medina said.

Cash quote: "All I can repeat are the things I have heard which are things like, 'Should I bring the little blue pills over tonight?'" community singles group president Richard Matwyshen said.

He's still here

Whatever happened to Tim Roth? Better asked, why aren't more directors taking advantage of a talent far too underused?

I've always been a fan of Roth (who especially shines in "Vincent and Theo"), and I liked him even more when he proved to be a cool guy, in limited interaction, at my former neighborhood pub (where, ironically, I was once gay bashed).

Time for a Tim Roth revival. There shouldn't have ever been the need.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Stop flipping

You come home from a day of work, with another to follow, and turn on the TV looking for a little diversion, which you know is virtually impossible. Proof presents itself when you turn to one of those awful "best ever" shows narrated by some talentless comic you've never heard of. I click over to "The 100 Funniest Movies" and see "Waiting for Guffman" rank 95th. I assume I'm watching some sort of farce, but then I see "Father of the Bride," "Clueless, "Zoolander," "Sister Act" "Half Baked" and "Ghostbusters" listed ahead of "Guffman" (Catherine O'Hara's hair made me laugh more than the other movies combined). Paraphrasing Dr. Jerry Pearl, those flicks are merely observing the class clown. (Soon after I have to endure the writers of "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle" and an editor from Teen People comment on the merits of "Team America: World Police.")

No question our culture has lost its sense of humor. I'm told we once had one, but I'm beginning to have my doubts.

I've stopped watching, but I'll wager "Meet the Parents" makes the Top 20, while "Being There" doesn't even place. I shouldn't care, but I enjoy being pissed off.

What can the Power Team leg press?

Photo of the week here. Gotta say I'm truly impressed that Robertson can lift a ton wearing velour pants.

This photo provided by the Christian Broadcasting Network shows religious broadcaster Pat Robertson leg pressing what is claimed to be 2,000 pounds at the fitness center at the Founders Inn on Regent University campus in Virginia Beach, Va., Feb. 1, 2003. A CBN spokesman claims the photo is from 2003 even though the date stamp on the photo says 8/1/1994.

I propose a pay-per-view event, the Ali vs. Frazier of Christian muscleheads: Robertson vs. the Power Team.

Interesting how insignificant stories like this reveal much about one's true character.

I hate thinking for myself

Can vitriol be captured in a form letter? Focus on the Family, James Dobson's fundamentalist front, proves it can:

We've made it easy for you to compose a letter advocating for the Marriage Protection Amendment -- by pulling together some talking points you can assemble into a completed whole. Just use the tool below to select one paragraph from each of four sections -- be sure to select the one that reflects your own views.

Your own views that we've selected for you. How 'bout a side of Orwell with them eggs?

Paragraph 1:

Option 1: For centuries now, in every civilized culture, marriage as the union of one man and one woman has been the building block of society. But it may not be true in America for long -- unless Congress approves the Marriage Protection Amendment.

Option 2: The U.S. Senate is poised to vote on the Marriage Protection Amendment, and the stakes couldn't be higher for our country and its future generations.

Option 3: Liberals argue that the Marriage Protection Amendment, which would define marriage solely as the union of one man and one woman, would write discrimination into the U.S. Constitution. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Option 4: Marriage has been under attack ever since no-fault divorce laws made it easier for us to discard our husbands and wives. Now, the attack is coming from those who want to open up marriage to same-sex couples -- and only the Marriage Protection Amendment can stop them.

Option 5: Never mind that an overwhelming majority of Americans oppose gay marriage. It's perilously close to becoming the law of the land -- unless citizens like us step up and demand our federal lawmakers pass the Marriage Protection Amendment.

And it goes on like this through four paragraphs (20 options). Lobbyists call this "AstroTurfing," an appropriate name since fake grass was an abominable creation, just like this type of manufactured outrage.

Check out a finished product, a total cut and paste job printed in an Oregon newspaper:

Marriage has been under attack ever since no-fault divorce laws made it easier for us to discard our husbands and wives.

Now, the attack is coming from those who want to open up marriage to same-sex couples, and only the Marriage Protection Amendment (MPA) can stop them.

Opponents of the MPA have asked, "How does one couple's gay marriage threaten anyone's heterosexual marriage?" This question misses the point. The goal of gay activists isn't the individual relationship of any two people; it is the revision of national policy to say that gender, especially in child-rearing, is inconsequential.

Think of the MPA as a shield between our traditional values and radical judges who are intent on forcing their politically correct agenda on our nation. Without that shield, it's only a matter of time until marriage loses all meaning, and social science data indicate children will suffer the most when that happens.

So don't delay, contact Senators Ron Wyden and Gordon Smith today and urge them to support the Marriage Protection Amendment when they vote the first week in June.

David LaLande

Roseburg

Tinkering with a classic

TCM is like an oasis in the muck of cable, one of the few channels the Malcontent wouldn't want to live without. But classy, elegant fare is out, along with any content tailored for a demographic over 30. Coming soon --

(TCM) has hired Rob Zombie to serve as host of a showcase of cult films, starting in October. And it has ordered pilots for two possible new shows. One, called "Idols" (hmmmm), would send a young working actor to shadow and interview an older screen legend. The other, "Take Two," will feature young stars re-enacting a scene from a classic film. The "star" in the pilot? Wilmer Valderrama, redoing part of "The Lost Weekend."

Yeah, he's so good on "That 70s Show" (talk about bad ethnic stereotypes) he can easily fill Ray Milland's shoes. Must the suits fuck up everything?

Howard Cosell, who moonlights from the grave for my Braves blog, touched on this subject in a recent post (referencing FOX's removal of broadcasting legends Skip Caray and Pete Van Wieren from the local cable outlet):

Recently, as a study in sociology and pathos, this reporter began immersing himself in the life of the benighted American South, what former president and New Dealer Franklin Delano Roosevelt described as our nation’s No. 1 economic problem.

But wait! If you consider garish strip malls and bland residential subdivisions and office parks progress, then progress is washing all over that region. Indeed, the same lifeless uniformity has sadly seized control of the broadcasts of the region’s oldest big-league sports franchise, the Atlanta Braves. Fox has taken over the colorful if insane maverick Ted Turner’s once spirited television operation and peopled the broadcast booth with non entities who would make the milquetoast Frank Gifford seem positively scintillating. ...

I read that the head of this particular appendage of Murdoch’s media leviathan, one Jeff Genthner, says that "Our talent is going to have a much greater presence. We're going to keep a completely open mind about who's available, who fits with us and, most important, who fits with the fans."

If the fans are a horde of unthinking, incurious drones happy with whatever their media masters spoonfeed them, then the Fox corporate myrmidon Mr. Genthner is indeed delivering a perfect fit.

And yes, he never played the game.