Wednesday, August 24, 2005

WWJD? Kill the bastard!


The world's most corrupt protein shake salesman (Pat's Diet Shake, "the most delicious, nutritious shake you will ever taste," according to the good Rev. Robertson, and we know his word is platinum) has a confusing dictator policy. While he advocates assassinating Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez (somehow he misquoted himself), Pat Robertson had nothing but kind words for West African butcher Charles Taylor.

"We're undermining a Christian, Baptist president to bring in Muslim rebels to take over the country," he said on his 700 Club show about good pal Taylor, the deposed Liberian president. "And how dare the president of the United States say to the duly elected president of another country, 'You've got to step down.'" (Yet Robertson supported the removal of Saddam Hussein).

This wouldn't have anything to do with a lack of gold mines in Venezuela, would it? Washington Post religion reporter Alan Cooperman revealed in an article two years ago that Robertson --- who blamed the Liberian bloodbath on State Department opposition to Taylor --- had an $8 million agreement with the Baptist president to mine gold in his country. Operation Freedom Gold, he called it. Freedom for what, Robertson's debt?

Frankly, I wouldn't lose sleep if Chavez slept with the fishes. And why is this such a story? It's not like this is Robertson's first inane commentary. His post-Sept. 11 summit with Jerry Falwell (where they joined bin Laden in the belief that God was behind the terrorist attacks) should've permanently dismissed him as any kind of spokesman, Christian or otherwise.

What would Jesus do? Hold on, he's sipping a Pat's Diet Shake.

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