Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Weekend at L. Ron's


Ever wonder what Tom reads to Katie on one of their romantic getaways? You're in luck. And so was I, having a friend not shy about opening his neighbor's mail after it was accidentally deposited in his box. My friend's neighbor was a Scientologist, and what follows is insider gibberish, intended for L. Ron Hubbard disciples only:

Your Progress to OT (Arbitraries Cancelled!)
"The announcement of the Golden Age of Tech marked a watershed in our application of the tech. It placed into all our org Academies the ability to train perfect auditors at the speed necessary to actually create planetary clearing for real ...

Therefore, nothing is more important to us than YOU making it to OT. LRH's researchers and discoveries resulted in making the route through the lower levels and up to OT a rocket ride. If someone has told you it takes a long time, or you feel that way even if they haven't told you, let me indicate that is FALSE DATA."

Well I'm glad that's all cleared up. Really, now, how could Katie resist? Scientology may be nonsense, but it's still the best beard in Hollywood!

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